That the Park Tavern Team is in fact comprised of 12 Kong sized gorillas with "The Park Tavern" tattooed on their chests (Please see "The Leadership Machine takes the field" at the bottom of the page)? Or were you aware that the Czech Translation of Leadership Machine is Vedení stroje (lest one be confused when the crowd breaks into a rousing chant at games and by the water cooler)?
As the midseason approaches, we take time to now reflect on last week's game against Al's Bar as the game is a perfect microcosm of the season so far:
It is a little known fact that Catcher Kirk DiFrancesco moonlights as Inspector Gadget. In a stunning dis-play at the plate, those on the field and in the stands were treated to a rare show when Kirk managed to Go-go-gadget both his arms *and* legs, tagging out the runner from at least 15 yards after a throw home managed to slip all the way to the backstop. When asked why he did not indulge his unique talents earlier, Kirk replied that he refrained in the name of sportsmanship and fair play. "Besides," he added "you really need to pick the perfect moment to break the news to your teammates that you happen to be a cyborg". Life has already changed for Kirk, as he now receives almost unceasing requests to pull cats from trees and dishes from the top shelves.
Another surprising fact, this one about Shortstop Ian Jura-Baum, is that Ian really just wants to be a dancer. After finding no luck with dance partners off the field, he expanded his search to include a teammate and one opponent in the game against Al's - "You know, when you have the rhythm sometimes you just get too much booty in your pants; I just had to try" referring to a botched tango attempt on an infield fly ball in the First and an aborted waltz in the Third with Second Basewoman Jessi Morales, and a later Electric Slide attempt with an undisclosed female member of Al's. When reached for comment, Jessi answered "It's no secret I like to dance, and the guy has a couple of nice moves, but where I come from you need a better 'in' than a nearby pop-up or grounder."
And with his two inside-the-park-homers last Wednesday, Left Fielder Nate Medbery capped what has been quite the coming of age story. About his performance, Nate framed his reply in terms of his true love World of Warcraft, a popular Role Playing Game online: "I feel as though I have finally leveled up to where I should be. You know, when I hit the field at the start of the year, I was decidedly a Level 1. I couldn't equip my "Catching" mitt, and my "Hit" command was infield at best. After the last game before this one though I definitely hit level 30, and the time between games really allowed me to max out my HP [hit points] and MP [magic points], as did changing my preferred weapon to "Bat" rather than "Mace" - it's much more effective.
Other headlines from the game...this was the first game that the Leadership Machine played in the 'Away' dugout, resulting in a 27.8% increase in morale...Lominger puts up 3 runs in the top of the first, an incalculable increase over the 0 run first inning output of the past 4 games...recent acquisition Joanne Genosky plays the 3rd Base with a catcher's mitt because "the game is just too easy otherwise...you got something to say?"...with the loss, the Leadership Machine falls to 0-3 against teams named after drinking establishments.
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